Dude.. OMGLOL!

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Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Emily on Mon Feb 01, 2010 2:14 pm

So in my fifth block class, my teacher was telling us a backround about Antigone.
Sounds boring, but here's what I got out of it:


Okay, Laios, kind of Thebes went to an oracle. The dude said, "Okay, you're son is gonna kill you."
Laios laughed at him, knowing he didn't have a son. He went home and his wife Jocasta was like,
"What did the oracle tell ya?"
"Nuttin," the stupid king said.
Later on, Jocasta is like, OMGIMPREGGO. Laios still doesn't tell her. Then the little baby is born
with a penis. Now does he tell her? YES. So they're like, oh. They tied the baby's ankles together,
pressed the palms of the feet togather, stabbed the feet with a wooden thing, and put the baby in a
plastic bag. They left the baby for dead on the mountainside. A shepard man walks by and sees the
flailing bag, and is like, whut? He takes the baby home and is like, "Honey, can we keep it?"
The wife is like, OKAY. They named the baby Oedipus, which means swelled feet. So fatfoot grew up
and... you know that story about Hercules? The animated one where he grew up and was like, "I don't
belong here?" That's how Oedipus was. He sought out the oracle and is like, "Something is wrong."
The oracle says, "Well, YEAH something's wrong. You're going to kill your father." At this point,
my teacher told us, "He also said something worse."
We all guessed, but the answer was that he was gonna marry his mom. He goes home and looks at
shepard dad. I ain't killing him, he thought. He looked at his mom. Eww! Not marrying her! He decides
to run away. Laios, back in Thebes, nothing is going well. He leaves Thebes to find help. You know
how young people don't respect their elders? Well Laios and fatfoot cross paths. "Move outta my way,
old man!" fatfoot said. The old guy argued, "You move! I'm older than you!"
Oedipus kills the old man, AKA his father. He goes to the Sphinx guarding the way to Thebes, who was
causing trouble in the town. No one could enter unless they solved the riddle. Sphinx is like, "Okay. You
can go, solve this riddle and get it right, or solve the riddle incorrectly and die."
So Oedipus is like, "Okay, why not?"
The riddle was, what starts out as four, jumps to two, but ends at three? (Fatfoot got the answer right,
but I'm gonna make you guess. Smile) Anyway, the Sphinx jumps off a cliff for the guy getting the answer
right. He walks in and the city waited for Laios to come back. He doesn't, so they make Oedipus king
for ridding of the Sphinx. He married his unknown mother. They must have REALLY liked each other,
they had four kids. (Us: OMGRLY? LOL) Later on, Oedipus talks to the oracle. The orcale is like, "You
killed your father you know."
Oedipus is like, orly? Then the oracle says, "You know your wife...?"
"Yeah?"
"She's your mom."
"DAMN."
So Oedipus goes home and is like, "Uh, honey? I'm your son."
As the only sane one in this story, Jocasta commits suicide. She was like, okay. I'm done. I'm dead,
Have fun everyone. So fatfoot is left to care for his four little bastards. Oedipus said something about
his eyes and he was like, aw forget it. He blinds himself and exiles himself for being blind and old. The kids
are left and he had two sons. (Twins, ffs.)

That's where my teachers story ended, isn't it fabulous? ^_^
I liked how my teacher actually said some of the lines like, "little bastards", and "DAMN." lolololol.



Spoiler:
Here's the twisted family tree:

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Emily on Mon Feb 01, 2010 2:15 pm

btw, the "=" means they sad sex, and the normal lines are the monsters made from said sex. ;]

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by KentuckyFriedCruelty on Mon Feb 01, 2010 2:21 pm

The answer to the riddle is.
Spoiler:
a human.
4: a baby. Crawling
2: a man/teen. walking.
3: an old man with a cane.
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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Emily on Mon Feb 01, 2010 2:22 pm

Go kfc!

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Bradley on Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:32 pm

the beech fucking googled dat shit

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by ZombieMesh on Mon Feb 01, 2010 8:11 pm

It's an old riddle, I knew it from the beginning.

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Joker on Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:43 am

I got lost after Okay
in the beginning.

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by KentuckyFriedCruelty on Tue Feb 02, 2010 12:14 pm

Bradley wrote:the beech fucking googled dat shit

No i didnt. Got it from a book
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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Emily on Tue Feb 02, 2010 1:48 pm

iLiam. wrote:I got lost after Okay
in the beginning.

Aww, Liam! lol

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Samsung on Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:14 pm

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by KentuckyFriedCruelty on Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:16 pm

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by WetDream(Led) on Wed Feb 03, 2010 8:44 pm

I KNOW ABOUT THE GREEN GODS BECAUSE I READ PERCEY JACKSON SERIES LAST SUMMER -i feel smart-

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Emily on Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:11 pm

YAY FOR THE GREEN GODS.

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Samsung on Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:12 pm

LOLOL
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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Lily!? on Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:27 pm

LOL

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Re: Dude.. OMGLOL!

Post by Joker on Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:46 pm

Emily wrote:YAY FOR THE GREEN GODS.

Thats a green giant.

Ewwwwww.
Green Beans = Fail
X]

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